Monday April 22nd 2002
Internal alarm clock: 3
Hawk: 0
4:30a.m.

My poor little mind had suffered from so much overload the whole weekend that it could not be contained while I did something as trivial as sleep. This time I'm miffed because 4:30 a.m. is just a bit earlier than even I would like to get up. But I have all these things running through my mind. Things I want to write down before I forget. So I take the journal and head to the hotel bathroom where I can turn the light on and not disturb my friends.

It's kinda hard to read a lot of what I wrote. But I felt the neccessity so early in the a.m. to write thank you letters. One I'm sending to Stewart. One to Billy Boyd through his agent. Will send them with copies of our group picture. I don't know if you believe in horoscopes, but I find that I identify a lot with my astrological sign if not the daily crap in the newspaper. Being an Aries I tend to think a lot and my brain just keeps running, Leaving my body on autopilot.

Let me give you a funny example. Last Tuesday April 16th, I was going over and over in my mind, "Have I forgot anything?", "I can't believe that I'm doing this.", "It would really be cool to draw a picture of my newborn nephew on a pile of leaves.", "I must design and make the best elf dress in the world." So my mind is preoccupied with all of these thoughts just jumbling around my head like lottery balls, while I am at work on my lunch break and I take the elevator to the lower level to get my lunch. But it seems that my luck is not good. The elevator is stuck. But I don't realize this till about five minutes when autopilot in my mind kicks off and I have a thought that says, "Why aren't I moving?" So I start getting panicky and I press the help button. After about another five minutes they figure out what the problem is. I forgot to press the elevator button to the first floor. Oh jeez. I'll never live that one down. Work takes mercy upon me and sends me home. Not so bad after all.

Back to the situation at hand. My mind thinks that it is important at 4:30 a.m to write these thoughts down. Thank yous to Stewart, to Billy, and to Viggo. That I am thankful to them on so many levels. Not just as a fan of Lord of the Rings, of Billy Boyd, and Viggo Mortenson. For providing me with information and access to an on-line community that I can talk with. But as a person to another person. I wonder if they really understand that they have had a role in people coming together and being real life friends?

Also some neat ideas that I came up with for what I want to do for my friends are bouncing through my head. But I must admit that its tinged with a great melancholy. I can't believe that this is over. That we are going home. I try not to think about being separated from my friends. I've had such a great time. Some of the things that happened this weekend were just so unbelievable and I find myself wondering just what really happened.

So I write everything down. And it's 6:00a.m. and I realize that I have to drive and that the amount of sleep that I have had, isn't enough and so I lay back down and eventually go back to sleep now that I have emptied my mind onto a piece of paper.

Even the best laid plans can go astray. When on the way home I realize that we aren't going through Canton. This is where we are supposed to drop me off. It would only be two and a half hours drive home for me from there. So I call my husband about a third trip to let him know of the new plans. That we need to figure out a new rendezvous point. This was not the prettiest conversation that he and I have ever had. Finally we get things sorted and I will call him again in a few hours.

While driving on this trip it is raining on and off. But the pennsylvania country is absolutely beautiful. The rain has made the forrest that surround both sides of the road a darker, richer color. Me and my tree fetish is going nuts wanting to take pictures of the white birches because they stand out even more since all the bark on other trees looks so dark. Note to self. Take pictures of forrest after it rains. I have family in PA, I am sure I can eventually rig this.
I can't fully contain my picture taking urges so Im driving and I whip out my little camera and I'm taking pictures of trees. And of the road. Which during some hundred mile stretch through the poconos is not actually black, but brick red. Lava is taking pictures of the rock formations. Everyone points out graveyards to me. Repressing urge to get out of van and frolick. Note to self: be more concerned with driving than with beautiful trees. Drive at night next time so I am not distracted.

Finally it comes to it, we have to drop me off and the rest of them leave me behind. None of them want to. I go around and get my hugs. I'm horrible at goodbyes so I am trying to hold in the waterworks. I go inside of the place where I will wait till my husband picks me up. Only a two hour wait. Should be ok. But I can't resist the urge to stand at the door and wave as everyone leaves in the van. They're all waving back. I am still trying not to cry. They pull out of the parking lot and I go sit in my seat and cry like a baby. I know, sappy me. But I was really upset.

1:00a.m hubby picks me up. He's tired and hungry. I take over driving and really not a whole lot is being said because we are both not too happy with each other right now. So I just keep driving, let him sleep and be quiet. Eventually he gets around to asking me about my weekend. It all comes out in a gush. I don't know if he was able to follow it. But I can tell he's feart of my new driving skills. It really was a classic look that he gave me.

I finally find a denny's so that he can eat. I'm not hungry... Still not sure what food is.
But I'm still telling him all about the trip. I think his eyes will cross soon. The waitress keeps giving me wierd looks and thats my cue to "tone it down" a bit. I tipped her well. She can forgive me my enthusiasm.

Back on the road. Getting tired. Decide to pull over and try to snooze. The heatwave is officially over and I wake up kinda cold. I decide I want to get back on the road. So I go into the convenience store and buy diet coke, chocolate pie, and caffeine pills. Enough sugar and caffiene to kill a small animal. I'm set. I drive the rest of the way home. We arrive about
6:00a.m. I'm glad to be home. But I miss my friends. I get on-line and send out the proper "I'm alive, I'm home and I miss you's." They were all not happy about leaving me behind.
Many thanks to my new friends. I love you all.