Sunday April 21st 2002

6:30a.m.
Dern that internal alarm clock. Room of course is all quiet and I am going about my morning ritual of getting film together, charging batteries, and trying to be as quiet as possible. Once all things are gathered for the day, I take the journal, go sit on the bathroom floor and write.

OK, I will admit that I feel completely ignorant and somewhat dorky for doing several things in my life which are obsessive in nature. My friends and family were convinced that I was out of my mind taking this trip. But I would do all of this again. I don't apologize for or regret any of it. Every now and then, a person just needs to get away. Step outside of that little box that you use to define yourself, or your everyday life. Take some risks. Meet some people. Enjoy life.

I will never understand how we all bonded over so short a time. How each one of us put complete trust in a group of strangers. With all the stories of terrible things that happen; and stories of cruelty that I can't believe a human capable of. I did something I will never define as obsessive but as a blind act of faith in human kind. Something which i believe will permanently change me. We all did, and it did change us.

I will say that I have found this trip empowering. I chose to define myself for the past eight years as a wife. I lived very carefully. As I contemplated wether or not I really was going to go on this trip, I was reminded of a saying: If you hold onto something so tight, you've already lost it. So I did it, not without a healthy amount of fear, nervousness and anxiety.
I drove in NYC... I am proud of this. I didn't hit anything or anyone. Although I am sure I pissed off quite a few cab drivers. I preformed an unmentionalbe amount of U-turns. And I laughed more than I have laughed in a long time. All of us Michiganders feel as though we have no choice to be optimists.

Obsessing is in my nature. I don't think it's really obsessing for me. Its just being excited about something I think is great. Lord of the Rings. Wow. I was so apprenhensive when I went to watch it the first time. I did not think that it could possible match what I had read. But I sat in the movie theatre and watched this beautiful thing jump from book to screne. I hadn't read it since I was little. About twelve. ( I had a Grade 12 reading comprehension in Grade 6. I was getting bored. My teacher got tired of trying to find books to keep me entertained during reading time. So she bought the Lord of the Rings and it kept me busy for a while.) After viewing the movie I immediately reread the books and it was like reading them for the first time.

I have so much respect for Billy Boyd. I do not know if I would be as kind and generous if I were in his position. I don't know how many of you have ever been married but if you have you know that the whole wedding day drains you. You are constantly the center of attention, everyone wants to talk to you, the photographer( that mean wench ) wants to constantly take your picture and flash light in your eyes. You are so tired by the end of the evening that you really want to go to bed and go to sleep. I imagine that I-CON has to be a similar experience for Billy. I didn't say it was the best analogy, simply the only one I can even use to identify with. So many times I have done the miniumum required. This is not an acceptable standard for me anymore.

The hotel is stirring.... Back into the madness!!!

7:20p.m.
I have been working on a sketch pad (aka vinelanguage )doing all my trip documenting, drawing a little here and there. The idea behind this is that everyone in our group has a page to write in. We write down quotes, memories, or our love and thanks. When I get home I am going to cut and crop my photos and paste them to the pages. When it is all said and done I intended on making color photocopies of each page and sending it as a personal thanks to each one of my fellow Michiganders. Because I would/could never had done this without them. Then I think. How cool would it be if we made a Billy page in Vinelanguage? Put down some of his quotes from his Q&A sessions, then have him sign it to 'the Michiganders'.

This is as fitting a place as any to tell you about Billy and the dashboard. Liz had a little picture of Billy that she had taped to her trip journal which fell off at some point in time on the trip. Early in the trip if I remember correctly. We didn't want to leave it on the floor and so we taped it to the dashboard. It was a picture of Billy in a suit at the SAG awards giving the thumbs up picture. We laughed and joked that Billy was the one giving us the thumbs up for the trip saying "go ahead" The picture became loved by all. It was all in good fun. It was like he was our mascot.

So after the Q&A on Sunday we are all waiting on the steps and just chilling out, writing in our journals and having a good time talking with each other. Hanging out with other Loons. Tried to catch Jason Carter. Missed. But I will get him next time. Oh yes. This now makes the score Pluisje 2... Hawk 0, This will not do. Must even the score. Look out Pluisje.

So finally they open the track and we get up there and wait. I thought that it was really cool that the people who didn't get autographs on Saturday, were assured autographs today. Even if we did have to wait. We are all working on what we are gonna want signed/ do when we get up there. Liz just wants a picture with Billy, but the ICON buzzards are circling and saying no hugs, no posed pictures, do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars. So I come up with the idea that she should just stand across the table and ask Billy to look at my camera, and that would be the picture of both of them. Instead of an autograph. He obliges, and stands up, leans over the table and puts his arm around her shoulder, smiles real big. Liz has hit her personal jackpot.
I ask Billy if he will give me the thumbs up sign while I take a picture. He smiles and gives me the thumbs up and I quickly take a picture. I also shake his hand and express my gratitude, say it was nice to have met him.

We go over to Stewart who was also nice about pictures. Me on one side Liz on the other. We have the whole arms around each other thing going on and this funny bit happened:
Hawk: Look Liz, it's a Stewart sandwich.!
Liz: That's almost as good as a hobbit sandwhich!
Stewart: Sweet Jesus!
Hawk and Liz : (giggles)

We say our goodbyes to Stewart and go on out of the land of ICON in search of the Eastern Pavillion. We have directions which Sterlin has graciously provided. But the Michigander's are still antsy about driving any place new because we nearly always get lost. We can't believe that we found the place so easily. That it didn't take us too far in uncharted territory. We have our own snazzy little room at the top of the stairs. I probably scared Sterlin with my over-expressed grattitude at for getting us there without difficulty. Suspect that driving in Long Island has traumatized me.

Dinner in it's many stages was good. It was just slow. But that was cool because there was much giggling and mingling. I spent another crazy amount of quarters making a phone call to my husband. I still haven't spoke with him yet. Just leaving five minute long phone messages on the phone. Here's the message:
Honey its me Linda I have been trying you non stop for three days now, I am in New York, and I am having a f**king great time. and I'm missing you like crazy.
That was exactly what I said, but I left out the mushy drivel at the end. I didn't claim to be the most eloquent speaker. Have felt quazi guilty for leaving the hubby home and going on this adventure. I digress. Sorry.

I suspect our laughing and carrying on at the Eastern Pavillion is quite a scene. Liz is having another reinactment of the Lord of the Rings momment, but this time she is using the salt shaker, the teacups, the egg rolls, nothing was safe. This always sends us into fits of laughter.
We swear the water was spiked because we are too goofy and wild to want to claim it as our own natural behaviour. Also suspect presence of food to blame for odd behaviour. We barely had any recollection of what food was. Or sleep for that matter. I believe someone has a rather graceful picture of me immitating a lioness eating a rib.

Eventually we left, it was getting later and Pluisje had an early flight to catch. We went back to the hotel and eventually drifted to sleep with our fond, unbelievable memories.